My Birthday

Let's just say I'm really tired so I'm not gonna "go off" as usual. Probably gonna keep this short and sweet, even though I want ALL of my blogs to have "substance" and "meaning". I'll probably just say I had a good birthday, even though I feared that turning 25 would make me upset, knowing that I've had SO little experience in my life by this point. I still don't feel GREAT about that, but I think, for ONCE, I'm gonna look on the bright side and just say that it's good I'm gonna deal with things now that I'm older and ready, rather than dealing with them when I was younger and NOT. Plus while I still have a BUNCH of new things to discover, many people at my age don't, and are more ready to get married, "settle down" and have families and shit, while I'm JUST really getting started with the rest of my life and I'm far, FAR off from what most mid-20s people are thinking about. So really, again, looking on the bright side, and that's good, no, VERY good for me.

Besides that, I was glad to hear from so many of my friends, new and old, wishing me a happy birthday. I had a few surprises, both good and bad, but all in all, a good day. Things are still slowly rolling along, which is VERY fucking good news, and I'm changing, growing, maturing, which is making me be more pushy to get what I both want and DESERVE. In time, I hope to be super confident about myself and my abilities and push relentlessly for the things I want, need, and deserve WITHOUT feeling guilty or strange about it. In time, I'm sure I'll eventually get to that point, but for now, I'm just gonna do my best, as always, and... hopefully things work out. If they don't, I can always lash out some more rather than burying myself into a hole of massive depression. We shall see...

Anything else? Probably not. I got some good stuff coming up, so I'm just gonna hope for the best. With a few more shoots under my belt, HOPEFULLY getting myself a kickass camera of my own, and a few other good things (which hopefully can earn me some CASH!!!) then things should REALLY be looking up and MAY end up better than I was BEFORE everything went to shit, and REALLY hopefully better than I've ever been in my life. *crosses fingers*